just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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