he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
