I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
