If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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