You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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