honey bunches of taint.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
