She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Randomize
