I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
This house was built for laser tag.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
