I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
