used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
