I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
