He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
