STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
