Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
