What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
