i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
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