Say something about gay babies.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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