Got a toothbrush?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
