Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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