we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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