it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
