I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Are my feet made of real feet?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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