I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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