I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
