if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
