You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
