nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
she told me i tasted like america
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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