When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
