I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
