I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
