Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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