its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
