): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
