the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
