have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
