And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
