I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
My vagina is officially offended.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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