All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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