I want to stick my p in your. b.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
