he thought i was a dude.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
