Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
