i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
