i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
