She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
