my mouth tastes like poor choices
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
