do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
