Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
