She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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