all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
That accounts for only three of the penises
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
