I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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